Words to live by

Grant me the serenity to accept the thing I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today,
because they got on my nerves.

Also help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,
as they may be connected to the feet I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always work at 100%

12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Friday

And help me to remember...

When I'm having a bad day and it seems
that people are trying to wind me up, that
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 muscles to smile,
and only 4 to extend my arm and smack you in the mouth.