Mount Diablo

 

Mount Diablo

 

Apparently I'm on a quiz binge

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Black Comedy

In your life, things are so twisted that you just have to laugh. You may end up insane, but you'll have fun on the way to the asylum. Your best movie matches: Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, American Psycho

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Sex Quiz

You have a sexual IQ of 156 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

This was actually one of the most inane sex quizzes I've ever taken, but still it is about sex.

Bushism

I became totally inebriated with hitting the big one.
--George w. Bush

on his oil drilling days, Texas Monthly, May 1994

Dear Abby

The following 'Dear Abby' letter was given to me by a coworker, and I found it to be quite funny. Enjoy.

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City. I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time 'working girl' in a brothel. Her time there is limited, however, as we hope to open our own brothel with her as the working manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, it would get them off the street, and, hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her in to the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her. So here's where I need your advice. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted for Bush?

Worried About My Reputation

Smoke rings anyone?

I found one of the most detailed instruction manuals for blowing smoke rings on the web today, and since this has been a hot topic for some of my friends I thought I would post a link. One day soon, all will be impressed with my smoke-ring abilities.

Quote of the Day

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.
- Peter Ustinov

50 questions

1. How tall are you barefoot?
6'2"

2. Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship?
Yes

3. Do you own a gun?
No

4. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be?
OCD

5. How many letters are in your crush's name?
27 (which happens to be my favorite/lucky number)

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I think they make horrible dildo substitutes.

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
Funky, Funky, X-mas

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Cherry Coke

9. Do you do push-ups?
I have...

10. Have you ever done ecstasy?
At one time I had the nickname 'The 5-hit Wonder'

11. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
No.

12. Do you like the rain?
Yes.

15. Do you have A.D.D.?
No..

16. Full initials?
TAW

17. Name 4 thoughts at this exact moment.
1. I work tomorrow, this is sad.
2. I'm high.
3. The dandy warhols rock
4. I wonder if I will be getting any tonight...

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought in the past week.
lotion, white cotton gloves, cigarettes

19. Name five drinks you regularly drink.
1. Cherry Coke
2. Cherry Coke
3. Cherry Coke
4. Cherry Coke
5. Cherry Coke

20. What time did you wake up today?
10:45

21. Can you spell?
english only, at least for the most part

22. Current worry?
Earthquakes

23. Current hate?
People. Work. Government.

24. Favorite place to be?
In my love's arms.

25. Least favorite place to be?
Hell.

26. Where would you like to go?
Almost anywhere.

27. Do you own slippers?
No.

28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
6 feet under.

29. Do you burn or tan?
Neither.

30. Yellow or blue?
Green.

31. Would you be a pirate?
I am...

32. Last time your phone rang?
6:44

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
None.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Serial Killer

35. What's in your pockets right now?
Wallet.

36. Last thing that made you laugh.
The Iceland Phallological Museum

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
ummm.... I wasn't raised with sheets...

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
I had a cupboard door slame into my head as a kid. There was lots of blood and some stiches.

39. What is your GPA?
None at the moment.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
5

41. Who is your loudest friend?
Drew.

42. Who is your most silent friend?
Mari.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
I certainly hope so.

44. Do you wish on stars?
No, that would be a little hot.

45. What is your favorite book?
This is a tough one, and at the moment it would have to be... Midnight's Children

46.) What song did you last hear?
The HIV Song - Ween

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Donizetti, (Domenico) Gaetano (Maria) - Concertino for Oboe and String Orchestra in F Major, Mvt.2: Allegro

49. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
Sleeping

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Fuck I was supposed to go out last night.

Penisphone?

Yes, that is indeed what this man is holding up to his face. Why exactly does this man use a penisphone? Well, because he works at the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Husavik. Now a friend of mine is venturing off to Iceland towards the end of the year, and it is through her that I was enlightened to the existence of this penile institution.

What else resides within the museum's walls?

How about 231 'specimens' displayed like hunting trophies, embalmed in formaldehyde, or dried in display cases. The museum attempts to collect penis specimens from every mammal extant in Iceland, plus a penis or two from extinct mammals. It also contains alleged folkloric specimens (elves, trolls, sea nymphs) and eventually even a human penis. Apparently, a patron has donated his own penis (presumably posthumously.

This is just weird

Cocaine Kate

How can you not love our darling inebriated super model? The text of the article that accompanied these pictures is posted at the bottom.

Fiery Kate Moss goes berserk at a photographer in the street — stamping on his lens cap then letting fly with a Kung Fu kick. The seething supermodel went ape as she was pictured walking with a girl pal in North London. Kate, 32 — ex-lover of junkie rocker Pete Doherty — had just nipped out for a bottle of wine with her blonde friend, who was carrying it in a plastic bag.

Cow vs. Dog

I bet this cow trampled these dogs after throwing them around repeatedly. At least that is what happened in my world. Cows rule man!

Why...

...does my workplace have so many freaking potluck/lunch things? I hate these forced get-togethers, and I hate even more when I'm given shit for not attending.

Mood: Sour
Now Playing: Annoying office chatter

Confessions

I am a unabashed Madonna fan. I literally can't get enough. From Lucky Star to Hung Up. From Desperately Seeking Susan to Swept Away. I revel in anything this remarkably hyper ambitious icon does. Hence, I am posting a gaggle of photos from her new tour. I especially enjoy the crucifix shot. Talk amongst yourselves.

The phone quiz....grab your cell and lets go!

01. Who is the phone maker?
Samsung

02. What's the last 3 digits of your mobile number?
398

03. What's the second text message of your inbox say?
"Yea. It was an experience. Slept 4 an hour last nite. I want food!"

04. Who's the 1st person who comes up under the letter M?
Mark

05. Who's the last person you rang?
Sandy

06. Who was your last missed call from?
Sandy

07. Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D?
Drew

08. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
"Yeah unfortunately, are you?"

09. Who's the 3rd person who comes up under J?
I only have one, Jami

10. what does the 5th sent message say?
"I'm ok, in a lot of pain. I'm about to take a shower. How late does that thing go?"

11. Who's the 4th person who comes up under S?
Siobhan

12. How many messages are currently in your inbox?
25

13. What do you have as your background?
some generic drop of water hitting a flower

14. Who's the 2nd person who comes up under A?
Angelo

15. who's on ur speed dial 3?
Kristine's cell phone

16. If you're on Pay as you Go, how much credit do you have?
umm.. whatever

17. Who's the first person who comes up under C?:
Charmaign

18. how many bars of signal do you currently have?:
one

19. What do you have as your main ringtone?
nothing, it is on vibrate.... oh yeah

20. What is your favorite ringtone?
kristine's ring that has paris hilton saying, "My phone's ringing. That's hot."

Yo mama so crazy

Bjork calls her eccentric.

When you look up funthole in the dictionary...

you find a picture of Mary Cheney's face. What a fucking whore. I really dislike the stupid bitch.

Do I really have nothing better to do?

Apparently a friend of mine has kind of a thing for Fedoras

Ok, so maybe I'm a little too obsessed with You Tube, but hell, it is funny

I wonder if they have any left for me to burn...

Yet Another

Wayne Thiebaud (b. 1920)

Diagonal Freeway, 1993

Once more with feeling

Matta (Roberto Sebastian Antonio Echaurren Matta) (1911-2002)

Painting with Yellow and Green, 1962

Ditto

At the de Young

Yves Tanguy (1900-1955)
From One Night to Another, 1947

Moooooooooooooooo!

 

And then?

 

And then?

 

And then?

 

And then?

 

Wildcat Peak

 

I was going to...

go to the Berkeley Marina today after work and relax maybe take some pictures. The weather this week has been so absolutely gorgeous that I didn't want to go straight home from work. Then I read this article on SFGate. While I think I will probably still head out that way after work, I think I may be a little cautious. Who wants to be attacked by a 1500 lb. sea lion? Not me that's for sure. Does anyone know if they have this type of problem across the bay at fisherman's wharf? I don't think I've ever heard of it. I wonder. Maybe this man in the kayak should back away from the grotesquely giant mammal.

Penguins make the best bad guys.